Hello, and Why mosaic?

I’ve been sicker the last 2 days than I have been in years…couldn’t even get out of bed to get breakfast, much less get going on this blog. I had wanted to work on picking out a mosaic design for the header from the photographs I shot at the North Carolina Museum of Art. They have a Roman floor mosaic there. Aching, coughing and wishing someone would just take me out back and shoot me to put me out of my upper respiratory misery, I came down to the study tonight, just to do a quick check on the world. Instead of the CNN banner page that day-by-day becomes more like the front page of the National Enquirer, I see my laptop open to the front page of my blog. There, in beautiful living color, was the header, floor mosaic installed, blog title nicely spanning the glass and stone chips some Roman installed 2000 years ago. My husband had gone ahead and set it up for me, even though he was sick.

Some men buy diamonds and that’s fine. But for me I’ll take a geek dude any day of the week, one whose form of loving me is to bring me soup in bed, then come down the hall and finish setting up the blog page. )

For the very technical types out there who may be mystified as to why I HAD to have the header set up first before I could write…I am not a computer person, I am a writer. I am mostly emotion, some logic. I go first by gut and sensory feel, then by analysis. I told him I was struggling to feel “warm and snuggly” willing to open my soul online, unless I felt like I was “home”….in a “nest.” My blog, with its ancient Roman mosaic banner, feels safe and comfortable. Like putting out the vase of flowers on the doily on the end table holding the pot of tea while the fireplace burns. NOW I can write.

I will explain more later about the purpose of this blog, and how I envision this project to go. For now, given how I feel, I will just talk about “soul mosaic.” The Romans took refuse – small bits and pieces of broken stone and glass that at first glance were nothing but trash – and instead arranged them into beautiful mosaics. Those rejected pieces, when arranged by someone who could see “their soul” became a unified whole that was a work of beauty.

I know the feeling. For most of my life I have felt like an odd collection of unrelated stone and broken bits. Many of those bits I never valued. Some I hated. Most I flat out ignored or tried to run from. It is only now in my 50s I realize that all those pieces of me, really do make a beautiful picture. When assembled with the right eye, the soul of the mosaic…my mosaic, can show through.

I decided to share this with others. I imagine I am not the only one out there who has ever questioned their life, their purpose, whether they accomplished anything, whether they are worth anything. I imagine I am not alone in wondering what value all the “broken bits” have. Maybe it is my gift to someone out there, to let them know, the broken bits really do make a work of art.

Time for tea, and a huge thank you to my husband. Good night.


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