The Post – A Balance: The New and Improved Admiral Byrd

I just couldn’t close out my day on such a negative note as Spiro Agnew. I felt the blog needed a positive influence, even if humble. I give you the “New and Improved” Admiral Byrd.

I’d noticed he was in seclusion in his cave a lot lately. I figured it was simply that with both ladies (Scarlett O’Hara and Melanie Hamilton) being pregnant, he was just lonely…and remodeling his cave with the new tunnel exit.

However, yesterday I looked in the tank to see “bits of Admiral Byrd” strewn about everywhere. A claw here, a couple of legs there, a torso behind the cave. No, he’s not dead…just his molted self ended up torn apart and scattered all over the tank.

He has since retaken his spot on top of his cave and is now claw-waving up a storm. After all, he is newly “re-shelled,” and thus, bigger, better, and ready for action. And Melanie Hamilton is no longer pregnant so, opportunity awaits.

Scarlett O’Hara is pregnant AGAIN. She had been living in the water filter for a week. I’ve come to understand that when Scarlett takes to the water filter, pregnancy soon follows.

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