Posts Tagged ‘church’

The Post – Agony in the Garden: If Jesus Needed To Do It, Why Do I Think I Don’t?

April 30, 2008

I was just looking over the “blog stats” page on WordPress for my blog – they’re not elaborate statistics, mostly total page views per day, what pages were accessed, and the list of search terms some people used when they stumbled across my blog. Amazing to me are the number of people who are looking for fiddler crab information. I will have to keep that in mind and remember to pass on any new things I learn, for their benefit.

I also spotted an unusual search term: “the agony in the garden.” My mind flashed immediately to all those Good Friday services in church, reading the various Gospels describing Jesus waiting to be turned over to the soldiers before His crucifixion. One of the things that always caught my ear in those gospels was the number of times Jesus kept asking His disciples to stay up with Him, be with Him, pray with Him, and how He complained to them when they kept falling asleep. I think what always surprised me was that Jesus almost sounded….whiny…scared…..human.

All through the Gospels as Jesus traveled and preached, He sounded wise, patient, compassionate, forgiving, amused, even angry….together. But weak? Frightened? At the end of His rope? Needy? He sounded almost like ….us.

Now most of us can’t stand it when we or the people around us act like that, never mind Jesus. Our immediate reaction is more like “get a grip,” “grow up,” “stop whining,” or my usual comment around the house: “You got a backbone?! Then use it!” I have to admit, I almost felt uncomfortable with this Jesus. He wasn’t ….perfect.

Maybe that was the point. I think He wanted to show us that EVERYBODY has their moments of falling apart. Sure, we can’t go around whining to everybody all the time about every little thing. But you know, life can be hard. Sometimes it can really suck. And sometimes, even grown adults want “Mommy.” They want to whine, stamp their feet, have a good cry, complain that it’s not fair. And sometimes grown adults are just plain scared.

Now the Catch-22 is that they don’t want to admit it or EVER let anybody else see that side of them. Nobody wants another to know our “shadow” side….see those moments when we’re not together, when we mess up, or are just plain needy.

My favorite Stephen King anecdote is when he tells of driving somewhere while his wife read one of his manuscripts. He kept glancing over at her, anxiously awaiting her verdict, until finally she snapped at him, “Will you stop being so goddamned needy?!”

The reality is, there’s not a human being alive who doesn’t have their “locked in the bathroom, crying behind closed doors, convinced you’re a failure, needy moments.” I think Jesus was telling us to stop pretending we have it all together all the time, because we don’t. Even He didn’t. He knew what it was to be human, to freak out for a few moments convinced you aren’t up to the task before you.

The thing about it is, when the time came, He was up to the task. Jesus even had the presence of mind to heal the man whose ear Peter cut off, and to tell Peter to put away his sword. I think Jesus is letting us know, it’s okay to fall apart sometimes…in fact, it’s probably necessary now and then to just break down and cry. Feel your fear, acknowledge your anxiety. Maybe it’s even empowering. Once you have felt those, the only way is up. You get up, you wipe your eyes, brush yourself off, take a deep breath, and get back to being a grownup…get on with the task you thought you couldn’t do. Because you can.

So I guess the agony in the garden was that Gospel reading that gave me permission to “not always have it all together.” Just remember to get back up after you finish crying. If Jesus can have His moments, it’s okay for us too.

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The Post – New England Seascape – 1st set

April 26, 2008

I’m going to save most comments for picture captions, but here is the first set of pictures. This is a New England seascape done in oils, in progress. A gift for my sister and brother-in-law. The canvas is an odd size – 12 inches by 36 inches and as such, a challenge for composition – long and narrow. But still, a fun thing to try. I’ve got a somewhat poor shot of the overall painting, then a number of shots – closeups of various parts of the painting. Most of these are in “base layer” stage – they still need finishing details and colors. I did complete the details on these over the last 2 days, and later today, I’m going to shoot pics of some of these finished closeup areas – the town, the wharf buildings, the fishing trawler, the lighthouse – to show the difference as the painting progresses. But for now, set 1, New England seascape:

Lighting is a bit off here…so much for “auto” mode on the camera, but a shot of the whole painting just to give an idea of layout.

The lighthouse has been fighting me from the beginning, even in sketches. It has gently sloping sides and lots of details. Given that I’m still struggling to get a base coat down and still haven’t got the “sloping sides” right, a battle still to be fought.

Very base layers of the residential area of the town with a really rough church in the background. The black blob in the middle, will eventually be a Corvette, a gift for my brother-in-law…the only Corvette I can afford to give him. But it IS the thought that counts. 🙂

The rock pier and wharf buildings are farther along but still need some touch ups. The red building on the end is the often-photographed shed in Rockport Massachusetts that you see on all the calenders. Maybe common to some, but I love the building so I put it in.

Again, a roughed out fishing boat just “plopped” on the water. Aside from details, some foam and waves would be good.

Just a long shot of the right side of the painting. The roughed out rocks in front will need a lot more detail and the “pool” of water, will be a tide pool, complete with some rockweed, strips of kelp, blue mussels, and other tide pool critters. Maybe even a hermit crab…. 🙂

A mid-painting shot…

And a shot from the left. The effect I want is to feel like you’re right at the tide pool level with the waves being driven right at you as they crash against the rocks.

These remaining shots are just some close-ups of the wharf buildings with lobster traps stacked against them, as well as a closeup or two of the tide pool area. In any event, the next set of pics will have a fair bit of progress. Stay tuned!!!